Stop optimizing everything

Learning to enjoy time spent sub-optimally

Last Sunday, my boyfriend and I walked to a grocery store just 5 minutes away from our apartment. It was a sunny and refreshing day in Madrid. We resolved to do the shopping in French (faire les courses en français) so that I could practice. He had invited a friend over for dinner and was browsing for a recipe that all three of us would like.

It was a really nice moment. Until…

The productivity monster tapped on my shoulder and whispered, “This isn’t very efficient, is it?”

I realized I was just standing there, waiting for him to find a recipe… doing nothing. Pasta alfredo, he decided, was too boring for a guest. Another recipe called for dijon mustard, but it was out of stock, so we’d have to go to another grocery store.

I’m not proud of it, but in a moment of frustration I thought: If it were me hosting this dinner, I would have picked the recipe, written a grocery list, and finished my shopping 3 business days ago. 🫠

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I’m almost done with this book called Four Thousand Weeks by Oliver Burkeman (I mentioned it in the last newsletter). The subtitle is “time management for mortals,” and it’s really refreshing against most traditional productivity advice.

One of the ideas that really stuck with me and put a filter over my worldview was that: When we strive for better time management and optimal productivity, we are perpetually preparing for a future where all of our problems are solved, our to-do list is finished, and we can finally, finally relax. Time becomes a resource to invest again and again towards a perfect future that will never arrive.

I resonated with this completely. I am a very future-oriented person. I opened a Roth IRA when I was 19 years old and started squirreling away my senior portrait money. I always plan, plan, plan, and get my work done early so that my future self will have it easier.

All of these forward-thinking behaviors (planning, budgeting, etc.) help me function in the modern world, but they also make me forget that time is more than just a resource to manage, save, and invest.

Time is precious. I know that’s cheesy and every philosopher ever has been saying that. It just didn’t fully hit me until this Burkeman guy reminded me that, one day, this time that I’m trying so hard to wrest control of will just… run out. And no one will give me a gold star for how much I was able to achieve.

“A life spent focused on achieving security with respect to time, when in fact such security is unattainable, can only ever end up feeling provisional—as if the point of your having been born still lies in the future, just over the horizon, and your life in all its fullness can begin as soon as you’ve gotten it… ‘into proper working order.’” (pg. 217)

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There was no reason to feel stressed in that vegetable aisle. I’m in a quieter season of my life. I definitely have important goals that I want to dedicate time to (like starting freelancing and learning French) but there’s no reason to manufacture a sense of urgency that pulls me away from the beautiful moments I’m living right now — savoring my last year of school, shopping with the person I love, and learning how to say zucchini in French (courgette).

There’s no reason to systematize and compress the best parts of everyday life — food, people you love, and, best of all, food with people you love.

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A few recommendations before I go:

• I haven’t watched this video yet, but the title alone stopped me in my tracks. Ever since then, I’ve stopped listening to music while I walk. My brain often feels so busy, and I realized I’m constantly filling the spaces between worktime with podcasts and music. I have no mental breathing room. Maybe one day I’ll commit to a goal as drastic as hers, but I’m taking baby steps.

• But when I do listen to music… I’ve been studying up on Twenty One Pilots’ newest album, Clancy. I’m going to see them perform in Madrid next spring, so I need to be ready to scream the lyrics.

• This is the recipe I loosely follow for my daily afternoon iced matcha. 🍵

• This is maybe the first good Notion template I’ve seen. I’m so tired of aesthetic (clunky) Notion setups with useless widgets and sub-pages that hide information away and don’t make your life any easier 😭 FINALLY someone is putting databases and formulas to good use 👏🏼

• I’ve been gaming more! Stardew Valley was always my go-to peaceful game for a long flight, but lately I’ve started tending to my farm in quiet moments throughout the week. That reminds me, I have some bok choy to plant…

Some questions:

• What’s something you want to stop systematizing, optimizing, and productiv-izing?

• What’s your favorite video game?

• Are you more past, present, or future-oriented?

Until next time,
Beatričė